Here is where I am right now. I’m sitting in my vehicle with my heart racing and my mind going 90mph and it has absolutely nothing to do with me. What happened? What happened was I shifted all of my energy and attention into the conversation I was just having. I started the conversation with the pure intention of being a listening ear, and ended the conversation as a part of the solution. We aren’t ever meant to be a solution for someone else’s circumstances. Sometimes folks just need to get shit out and verbalize what they’re experiencing. As friends, what we can do is be that outlet, but it’s important to know how to hold space for everything they’re releasing. When we don’t do that, we absorb everything they’ve released. Then our minds and bodies assume we’re experiencing the same exact circumstance because we’re producing thoughts that align with it. Does that make any sense?
The fact of the matter is that within each and every person experiencing anything, they have something in them that KNOWS what their next steps should be. You can wreck your brain to help as much as you want, but the only answers you’ll provide will be in alignment with where YOU are in your personal journey based on your own perspective. That’s not helping another person travel their life path… It’s actually the opposite. Which is why sometimes we need to stand back and listen. Eventually that person will come to their own realization after hearing themselves speak out what their experiencing internally.
I’m not saying tell people, “That’s not my problem, you figure it out.” I’m saying simply be the support system you intend to be and just listen. Maybe ask a question they haven’t ask themselves yet. But don’t become a part of the solution. That’s not what you’re there for. You’re there, simply, to hold space.